Surrendering Sorrow
by Dreamlover1102
Summary: A painting, and a sad story, was more than enough reason for Kagome to pack her bags and set out in the Feudal Era in search of the Demon Lord of the west. Evil lurks in many corners and Kagome remembers that sorrow always awaits the end of the story...
1. Prologue

**Surrendering Sorrow****  
By: Savannah (Dreamlover1102)**

**Hello there. I'm back with another story. I don't know if I'll ever finish my other stories but for now, I want you guys to read this one. It's gonna be good, I promise. I hope you guys like it. Anywhoo, Go ahead and read now...**

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha and co. so please don't sue me...

Prologue:  
  
Bits and pieces of thoughts surfaced and dashed away in her mind. Broken fragments, and little sentences that, in no way, made sense to her. The only thing her mind screamed at her, that she understood was, _Run_!

Her body jerked into motion without hesitation and she ran as fast and as far as she could. The forest was a blur of green and brown as she raced for safety. Safety she didn't know if she would find.

She pushed herself with her remaining strength, with all her might, into willing thoughts away. She concentrated only on the pounding of her heart, and the instinct to escape, as her mind became silent. Only the thought that if she slowed down, if she stop, that she would surly die. The demon that was chasing her would leap upon her and she would be ripped apart. That thought alone was the only thing that kept her running.

Her lungs burned, her throat stung, her legs were tired, and still she ran. Willing herself to be as quick as the wind. To be nothing but a blur of black.

Suddenly, her leg caught something solid and down she came. Slamming hard into the forest ground, she smack her head on a rock. There was a scream and she realized it was her own.

Just before her vision became black and she succumbed to darkness, she heard a clash of metal and then nothing.

In her dreams, Kagome thought about the events that led her to this moment...

**So, What do you guys think?? Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Review, please! Also, I really need a beta so...if anyone is interested, Please let me know! **


	2. Chapter One

**Surrendering Sorrow**

** By: Savannah (Dreamlover1102)**

Well, Hello Again! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm really excited about this story and I want to know if you guys are excited too, so read on!

"I" Talking  
'_I_' Thoughts  
_I_ Flashback  
Lots of _..._**.** means a scene change.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my shoes, my clothes, and my mind.**

From childhood's hour I have not been  
As others were--I have not seen  
As others saw--I could not bring  
My passions from a common spring**.**  
**Edgar Allan Poe; "Alone"**

**Chapter One:**

Kagome walked down the silent halls of Tokyo's Art Museum. It was quiet, like most Art Museums were. People talked in a hushed tone, afraid that if they raised their voices any louder than a whisper it might destroy the artistic view.

As she walked down the hallways studying the paintings around her she noticed that they were becoming battle scenes dating back to the Feudal Era.

This is what she had been hoping to find.

It had been four years since the defeat of Naraku. Four years since her travels with her friends. Four years since she step foot in the well-house that transported her from one time to another.

She remember the day clearly...

Flashback  
_  
"Oi, Kagome! Where's my Ramen!?" Inuyasha demanded, as he hopped down from the tree he had been occupying, waiting for Kagome to get back._

"It's right here, Inuyasha, and If you want me to give it to you I suggest you don't test me!" She replied in annoyance. Inuyasha shot back with a "Feh." but no further comment was made from the Hanyou.

Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kirara, and Kikyou enter the scene and gave Kagome their hello's.

They had defeated Naraku with the help of Kikyou and even the stoic demon lord of the West, Sesshomaru who took off with his group shortly after. Kikyou had stayed behind, joining their group now that it was peaceful once more.

Inuyasha had chosen Kikyou in the end, but Kagome had long since stop caring. She was glad that they could have a peaceful life together once more and though her heart had been broken, it slowly repaired itself with only a small scar.

Miroku and Sango were married shortly after the end of Naraku and it had been a beautiful ceremony. Kagome had wept for their happiness.

Kagome visited on the weekends, and that's when they had their reunions.

Now, the group, settled around the fire of Miroku and Sango's hut and ate their food in companionable silence.

It was another serene Saturday night spent in the Feudal Era with her friends. She watched as they ate their Ramen in silence, with a small smile upon their lips. She was glad that she could still be here. Hanging out to the past without being completely cut off from the future, and vise-versa.

Kagome realized that she felt complete. Content to spend the rest of her life just like this.

And that's when she felt it. The pull from the well. It was sudden, and surprisingly painful and Kagome gasped. Her body shrinking into a fetal position, coiling into itself.

Horror, shock, and worry settled on the face of her friends.

"Kagome! What' wrong? What's happening?" Came the worried voice of Sango.

Kikyou crawled over to Kagome and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"What is wrong, Kagome?" She asked, her voice still and her tone grave. She could feel it. The call of magic that was sucking at Kagome's soul.

"I...I can't...breathe...It...it hurts so bad..." Kagome gasped out.

"Kikyou, What's going on? What's wrong with her?" Inuyasha's voice barked out, harsher than he intended. Kikyou wasn't offended though. She knew Inuyasha was extremely worried and anger was the only way he knew how to voice it.

She looked up at him, her face betraying nothing, but her eyes spoke of fear.

"Inuyasha, Kagome needs to get to the well. Now." She spoke. He nodded, his ears flat on his head.

He scooped up Kagome gently, and ran. He ran as fast as his demon body would allow, leaping over trees and cradling Kagome close to his body.

He didn't know what was wrong but he knew that he wouldn't like it when he found out.

"Inu...Inuyasha?" Her voice was weak, her face scrunched up in pain.

"I'm here Kagome. What is it?" He asked, softly. Afraid that if he raised his voice any louder that he would cause her more pain.

She looked at him then, her soft eyes full of tears. Her face looked haunted.

"I have... to leave... I have...to go back home...and I don't think...I'll be able to return..." She whispered and he had to strain to hear her.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his voice worried, and frightened.

A tear slid down her cheek.

"The well will not let me return. It's pulling me away and I won't be able to come back. It says I am done with my mission."

Inuyasha looked down at her as he touched down on the ground in front of the well. His heart was broken, his eyes burned with unshed tears. His hands scrunched into a fist.

"Tell them I'll miss them. Tell them I'm sorry. Tell them I said goodbye." She said as she swung her leg over the lip of the well. He nodded, to afraid to speak in fear that he would cry.

"I'll miss you."

Her voice was a whisper but the words punctured his heart.

"I'll miss you too." He said.

She smiled then, and with that, she disappeared in a blinding blue light that took her through time.

She was gone. She was never coming back. Inuyasha dropped to his knees and wept.

End Flashback

Kagome held back the tears. It had been four years since she had seen her friends and not a day went by that she didn't miss them dearly.

The paintings were of battles, and wars but none she could see so far had anything to do with Youkai.

And so she continued on and entered into a room. The walls were covered in paintings, small yet decent sized, and framed in gold colored wood. In the middle of the wall directly across from her sat a large painting, framed in silver, that took her breath away.

_'I Can't Believe it...'  
_  
The painting was of a huge, white dog. It's nose nuzzling a young child on the ground. Surrounding it was a battle. Large beast-like creatures with glinting swords, and fire burned on mountain tops. Blood spattered the ground, and Kagome can almost hear the cries of war, the clashing of metal against metal, the dark roar of fire, the soaring of arrows, the shouts, grunts, and the screams of falling of men.

And deep in her soul, Kagome could hear the silent whimper of the dog. Its once proud heart shattered at the loss of a child. A unnecessary causality of war. She could see, in its deep golden eyes, the pain of loss, the regrets, and the unbreakable sorrow. The demon dog was broken. It no longer cared for anything anymore.

Kagome's heart shattered. Silent tears slid down her cheeks as she stared upon the painting of the Demon Lord of the Western lands. She could _feel_ his grief.

This demon had once been proud, dignified, and superior but after the loss of a child, he no longer felt anything but pain. A heavy heart. This demon was broken.

It tore her heart into pieces.

"I've never seen anyone moved this completely by this painting. You look like you know exactly how he feels." Came a voice. A deep, vibrating tone that slid down her spine.

The man stood at the entrance of the room, his face set in a frown. He had deep, grass-green eyes. He was tall, with long auburn hair that was braided and ran down his back.

Kagome wiped at her cheeks, slightly embarrassed.

"I've never lost a child before, but I have lost friends." She replied, quietly.

He nodded. His eyes gazed at the painting for a long moment before looking back at her.

"What is your name?" He asked.

"Kagome." She answered, the lump in her throat throbbed.

He looked as if he already knew her name and Kagome found that odd.

"What's yours?" She asked.

The man stared at the painting, his eyes barely focused as if he was remembering something that happened long ago.

"Ryu."

Kagome nodded. She took a breath to clear her depressing thoughts, and forced a smile.

"It's nice to meet you." She said, holding out her hand for him to shake.

He took her hand in his, his grasp was firm but soft to the touch. He shook her hand, a small smile on his lips.

"It's an honor to meet you as well, Kagome." He answered.

For some reason he felt familiar to her. Like she met him before a long time ago but she couldn't place where, or who he was.

"I'm curious, Do you know the story behind the painting?" He asked. Kagome shook her head.

"Well, I could tell you, If you want, over a cup of coffee?" He offered.

Kagome thought about this. He seemed genuinely friendly, and she felt no ill-intentions coming from him. Years around danger had taught Kagome to trust her instincts. After a few minutes of careful deliberation, Kagome nodded her head.

"Sure."  
**...**

The little coffee shop down the street from the museum was placid. The smells of different coffee brews made her tranquil.

She ordered a Vanilla Chai Latte, her favorite drink, and sat down across from Ryu. He stirred his drink with deep concentration. She studied him. His brow was furled as his eyes glazed over. She could tell he was thinking of something very deeply, and whatever it was, it made his eyes slightly watery, and she could tell it moved him like the painting had moved her. This story he was going to tell her was likely to be sad, and full of pain and sorrow.

After a few minutes of soft silence he looked up at her. When his intense green eyes met her chocolate brown ones, Kagome had a brief image of someone she had met during her travels in the Feudal Era. It was fast and as quickly as it had come, it was gone.

"In the painting...He's nuzzling a human child...Who is that? Do you know?" Kagome asked. She didn't want to ask because she had a very good guess. It hurt. She didn't want it to be that way. Not for anyone.

"Her name was Rin. She was the Demon Lord of the Western Land's daughter." He replied.

'_Rin...She was Sesshomaru's daughter?'  
_

"But I thought he was a demon?" She asked, slightly confused.

"He was, and Rin was human but though they were not blood related, The demon, named Sesshomaru. had adopted Rin. She had once brought him food when he was severely injured. She never spoke, and he could see that the villagers had beat the girl. Even though he was cold, and indifferent to her, she never stopped bringing him food and taking care of him when he was injured. Then, when he was healed enough to leave, he left, but shortly down the road he caught of whiff of blood in the air, and discovered her tattered and ripped apart body. Wolves had killed the young girl, and Sesshomaru didn't know what compelled him to bring her back to life, but he did. He let the young girl follow him around and soon...he grew attached to her, though he would never admit it out loud." Ryu stopped there to take a sip of his drink.

Kagome was deep in thought.

'_So that's the story...that's the reason she followed him around, and he allowed it.'  
_  
"They traveled together, across the land far and wide. An evil Hanyou by the name of Naraku, a man who was the cause of such misery and death," Kagome could see a wave of righteous anger pass through Ryu, the same wave she felt herself whenever he was mentioned, "plagued the land of Japan around this time. He had bothered Sesshomaru and even had the nerve to kidnap Rin and try to swallow him whole for his power. After many battles, Sesshomaru and a group of travelers had defeated this evil foe, and then the travelers and the demon lord went their separate ways..." He took another sip of his drink.

"Do you know any of the names of the travelers?" Kagome asked, slightly worried, though she hid it well.

"Just two. One of them was Sesshomaru's half-brother, a hanyou himself, by the name of Inuyasha. The other, I think her name was Kikyou. She was a priestess. Their story is tragic as well but I suppose that's a story for another day." He replied.

Kagome nodded at this, slightly uneasy. Did she want to know the fate of her friends?

"Please, go on." She encouraged.

"Sesshomaru and Rin traveled for another four years, until finally he brought her back to lands of the west to his comfortable castle. There were rumors that the Ruler of the northern lands was sick of Sesshomaru's weakness, and placed a challenge. Now Sadotsu, demon ruler of the north, was a clever, and very cunning man. He enlisted a dark miko to help him fight Lord Sesshomaru. She cast a spell on Sadotsu and made him nearly invincible. The first battle left Sesshomaru barely standing and the great Demon Lord of the west had to retreat to "lick his wounds" so to speak. That is when he came across a miko. A pure miko, who I do not know the name of. They made a deal and she was to help him defeat his enemy. They spent two months training, and then traveled for a week to the Northern Lands where he would face an army with his own army."

Kagome stared at him with wide eyes. _'Sesshomaru had made a deal with a miko of all things?? This was almost preposterous. Almost. Sesshomaru may be a proud demon, but he wasn't a fool. She knew that if he could not defeat an enemy himself he wouldn't just let himself be killed because of his pride. Or maybe he would?' _Kagome had a hard time wrapping this concept around her mind.

"The last battle came," Ryu continued, bringing Kagome out of her thoughts, "and Sesshomaru and the miko fought bravely. And then...Sadotsu, horrible and despicable man that he was, brought Rin onto the field, and right before Sesshomaru's eyes, unable to reach her in time, Sadotsu killed Rin."

"No!" Kagome burst out in horror. Tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't believe it. What kind of loathsome, filthy, horrible person could do such a thing? How could he kill an innocent child for the sake of battle? For the sake of winning? Or hurting his opponent. That was lower than _scum_.

'_Sesshomaru...He must have felt so helpless, and so...so...I don't even have the words_...'

Ryu was quiet as he watched Kagome whip her tears away. Yes. He knew exactly how she felt.

"What happen?" She whispered. She had to hear the rest of the story even though she knew it would be tragic.

"Sesshomaru, in a blind rage, released his demon and slaughtered anyone who dared get in the way as he charged towards Sadotsu. The miko, the pure one and who had become a fierce ally through their time training and traveling, had been fighting her own battle against the dark miko at the time, was horror-stricken. She couldn't believe he had done such a horrible thing. With her own rage, she purified the dark miko with an arrow to the heart, and so the spell on Sadotsu was lifted. Sesshomaru tore Sadotsu apart with his sharp teeth and the battle had ended. And then Sesshomaru, broken and grief-stricken, nuzzled Rin with his nose and then ran. He ran far, the wind his only guide. I believe is was his way of releasing his grief." Ryu finished.

"And the miko? What happen to her?" Kagome asked.

"I do not know. I like to believe that she went home, or maybe she followed Sesshomaru. I do not know." Ryu replied.

"That's so sad." She whispered to no one in particular.

"I know..."

"How do you know all this?" She asked suddenly. She looked up at him.

Ryu sighed. He sounded so tired then.

"It has been passed down in...my family for years," He answered. "The painting...I painted that."

"You!?" Kagome was shocked. He was an amazing artist. That painting felt so real, and alive. It was as if he had been there, painting it as he watched.

"That's amazing! That painting felt real and alive. I truly felt like I had felt everything, heard everything, seen everything, and smelled everything that had happened. You're remarkable." She praised.

Ryu smiled, genuinely pleased. It always felt good to have someone compliment his work.

"Thank you."

"No, thank you. I'm really glad you shared this story with me." She said. There was a peaceful silence and Kagome glanced at her watch. It was time to head home. She had work tomorrow.

"I hate to say this but I need to get home." Kagome informed. Ryu nodded, and stood. Kagome followed suit.

Ryu pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Maybe we can do lunch sometime." He said.

Kagome took the card with a nod and then left to her home. Her heart felt heavy. He mind focused on the story.

_'Sesshomaru_...'

What a tragic story, to a tragic painting, of a tragic life.

**Well, What do you think? It's really sad, huh? Yeah, I know...But still, PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	3. Chapter Two

**Surrendering Sorrow**

**By; Savannah Hottinger**

**Hey! I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I got side-tracked and then got writer's block. So So Sorry. But anywhoodles, I'm back to try to write a chapter. Oh, and Sesshomaru's Miko, I am in need of a beta and I would be honored if you would be my beta. Pretty please!? Hehe. Thanks for all the reviews! Anyways...talking to much. On with the story.**

"I" Talking

'_I_' Thoughts

_I _Flashbacks

Lots of .... means a scene change

**Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha, I would have Kagome and Sesshoumaru together. Sadly, though, I do not.**

History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again

- **Maya Angelou**

**Chapter Two:**

There was a soft breeze that lifted her hair and she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. She knew she shouldn't be here. Standing inside and staring down into the empty blackness of the well.

"This is stupid. It can't possibly work..." She muttered to herself. Still, though, she glanced back down into the well. It had felt like it was pulling her in. Telling her she had another mission to fulfill.

Taking a deep breath and hiking her backpack up on her shoulder; she leaped. The air whipped back her hair, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

Suddenly, instead of ground meeting her, she felt tingles, a flash of light, and then softly and gently she landed. She opened her eyes and was greeted by things she hadn't heard or felt, or even smelled in four years. The bright sun beated down on her and she felt something heavy be lifted off her chest. The birds chirps were music to her ears. Tears fell as she climbed the well's vines. She reached the top and grinned.

She had made it back.

**....**

"Inuyasha! Dinner's ready!" Kikyo called, hand over eyes, as she searched for her husband. She saw him helping Miroku carrying buckets of water back to Sango and Miroku's hut.

"I'll be right there, woman!" He shouted back. She supressed a laugh and walked back inside her hut. To keep herself busy, she readied a bowl for Inuyasha and herself. Pouring hot soup, and making some tea.

Inuyasha walked inside, followed by Shippo. She picked up the bowl of soup and walked toward Inuyasha. That's when she felt it. A pulse. Then a Second. Then a third. Her half-soul swooned. Faintly, she heard the bowl clatter to the ground, forgotten. The "What the hell, Kikyo!" was ignored. She gripped at her chest. She could feel it. The magic from the well had pulsed.

Kagome was back.

"She's back!" She eclaimed, glancing at Inuyasha. He gave her a confused look.

"What in the seven hells are you talking about-" Inuyasha began.

"Kagome! She's back!" She said, and this time she grinned. It had to be her.

"Kagome?! Really? How do you know?" Shippo asked, excited. Though he had grown considerably, he was still small. Even through all the grief he had been through, and seen, Shippo had not lost his childhood wonder. Kagome had taught him that.

"What? How?" Inuyasha shouted.

"I felt it. The magic from the well. It has to be her!" Kikyo replied, "Shippo, get Miroku and Sango. Come, Inuyasha, let's go greet her."

Inuyasha nodded, turning and crouching so Kikyo could get on his back. Kikyo climbed on while Shippo dashed out to find Miroku.

Inuyasha sped through the forest, his forest, to the well. Thoughts surfacing. How? Why? But the most important, he hoped with all his might that Kikyo was right. That she really was skidded to a stop just outside the forest. his eyes watering without his consent. There she was, silly backpack in tow, while she climbed the lip of the well. He set Kikyo down and the noise alerted Kagome.

She looked up and practically burst into tears.

"Inuyasha! Kikyo!" She called. She raced towards them and knocked Inuyasha to the ground in a bone-crushing hug,

"It really is you!" He exclaimed. Kagome smiled and nodded. Kagome stood and helped Inuyasha to his feet muttering an apology. She turned and hugged Kikyo with less force.

"Welcome back, Kagome." Kikyo whispered.

"How? Why?" Inuyasha sputtered. His eyes soaking up her presence. He couldn't believe it. She's been gone for four years. Kagome's face became serious.

"I'll explain later. Right now, I'm starving and I want to see the others." She responded. Inuyasha nodded and the three headed back to the forest in peaceful silence.

**....**

After many tears and heartfelt hello's, the group settled down in Inuyasha's hut around the fire, eating soup.

"Kagome, I'm so glad you're back, but I am curious as to why? And how?" Miroku asked. Kagome nodded, and set her bowl down.

"I guess the well let me pass through because I have another mission to fulfill." She replied.

"And what is that?" Sango asked, setting her own bowl down. Kagome sighed.

"A met a man named, Ryu, at an art musuem the other day and he told me a story about his painting..." She went on to explain the whole story that Ryu had told her about, "...and so I wanted to see if I could help Shesshomaru." She finished.

"What?" Inuyasha burst. Kikyo glared while Kagome muttered, "Sit boy." Inuyasha face planted into the floor and Miroku sighed.

"I haven't heard that in so long." Sango said, her eyes watering. Kagome patted her hand, smiling wobbily.

"I believe that is what you came here for. And we will assist you in any way we can, Kagome-sama." Miroku spoke, Kikyo nodding beside him.

"Kagome, may I come with you? I know that you're travel will be hard and stuff but you just got here after so long and I really don't want to lose you again. Please Kagome?" Shippo asked. Kagome went to say no but after seeing his eyes begging, she nodded.

"But if I say run, I mean it." Kagome warned. Shippo nodded.

"For now, let's sleep. It's late." Sango suggested. Everyone agreed.

**It's short and not very well-written but I needed a filler chapter. I'm sorry guys, I promise the next chapter will be waaaaay better and I'm sorry it took so long to update. Please don't abandon me. i swear the next chapter will be better. Review please!**


	4. Chapter Three

**Surrendering Sorrow**

**A/N: Hey, I'm back. Ive been working on some major projects. I got three original stories I'm working on and another fanfictions for entirely different genre. So I'm sorry I've been so busy lately. But don't fear, I have not forgotten about this story. I have alot of hope for this one, even if it will take quite a deal of time before it's finished. I have alot ground to cover. Anyways, sorry for the delay, and here's the next chapter. thanks so much for the reviews! You guys are fantastic. Oh, one more thing...I have no idea if you can use Bodark wood to make a bow...but whatever.**

"I" Talking

'_I' _Thinking

_/ _Flashbacks

And lots of ....means a scene change

**Disclaimer: Oh, psh, If I owned Inuyasha, I wouldn't be writing fanfictions.**

Be glad today. Tomorrow may bring tears. Be brave today. The darkest night will pass. And golden rays will usher in the dawn. **- Sarah Knowles Bolton**

**Chapter Three:**

The wind's soft touch against her skin brought her peace of mind. She struggled against her thoughts. She knew she had to get going soon. She only had a story to follow, no map, no friends to help (except Shippo), and barely any supplies. She knew, though, that against all odds, she had to help.

It was in her nature.

She laid her head on her knees and watched the sun rise over the lake. The golden rays glistened across the laps of water, and lightly warmed her as it rose farther into the sky. She sighed, and picked at the invisible lint on her worn jeans.

Her mother was bound to have found the note she left. She hand't called into work before she took a leap of faith into the well. She told her mother to call her boss, , to let him know that she wouldn't be in for a while. Some family emergency she had begged her mother, in the note, to make up.

Thinking of her boss made her quietly laugh. reminded her a great deal of Myoga. He looked alot like him, except he head had a full head of thick, black hair. But his personality was almost Myoga to the tee. Sometimes, when she squinted her eyes at him, he even reminded her of a flea.

was the boss of the third floor at Nishimura Inc. The company was co-owned by two brothers who she had never met, though, she had worked there for two years.

"Kagome?" Called a voice. Kagome turned to see Sango slowly making her way over to her. She sat beside her, staring out into the lake.

"What is it, Sango?" Kagome asked, curiously. Sango turned to her and smiled. The smile was grim and strained, and Kagome's brow crinkled in worry.

"Kagome...I wish I could come with you. To join you on your journey. Miroku and I worry a great deal about this whole thing...but we know you must do this on your own....and...," Sango looked down, a slight blush marring her cheeks, "...I am with child." She finished quietly.

Kagome's eyes widened, a grin appearing.

"Oh Sango! This is great news! Why didn't you mention this sooner?" Kagome was estatic.

Sango's blush deepened but soon her head lowered.

"I am more worried about you, friend." She answered, her eyes lit with worry and concern.

Kagome glanced back at the lake. She picked at the grass that her fingers grasped. She couldn't let the fear enter her. If she did, she wasn't sure she'd leave. The story Ryu had told had never mentioned the miko dying but she wasn't sure if she was miko at all.

_'But the well had let me pass...does that mean I'm the miko? If I'm not...what role do I play in this story?' _Her thoughts went unanswered.

"Come on, Sango. Let's go eat. I have to great ready to go."

Sango stood with her, her eyes downcast. The best thing about Sango was that Kagome knew she wouldn't beg her to stay. She wouldn't ask Kagome to not go. Sango knew that the mission Kagome was taking on was important to her. She would never ask Kagome to go back on her convictions.

They walked back in comfotable silence. Kagome's thoughts scattering before her as she wondered where to start. Sango glanced at the girl deep in thought. She worried for her friend but knew she couldn't do anything about it. She would join her if she could, but it was much to risky for her in her condition.

Miroku met the girls on the porch. His eyes gave his thoughts away. He looked longingly after Kagome when she walked into the hut.

"I wish to join her as well, Husband. To travel with her like old times." Sango spoke, taking her husband's hand and giving it a light squeaze. He gave her a half smile, kissing her cheek lightly before lifting the flap to allow her entrance. He followed in behind her and took a seat between Inuyasha and Kikyo.

**.........................................**

They ate in silence. No one wanted to speak. All of them watching Kagome quietly. After ten minutes, Kagome sighed and set her bowl down.

"I know that all of you wish to come with me. I'm sorry. I wish I can take all of you but I can't." She looked around the circle, her face scrunched up in apology.

"I'm coming. She won't be all by herself." Shippo spoke up. Inuyasha snorted but didn't make a comment. He knew Shippo would be no match against a powerful foe but Shippo would watch out for Kagome with the best of his ability. Kagome would know when a demon was approaching the minute Shippo smelled him. His demon-senses would help Kagome and that small bit comforted Inuyasha.

"We all have something for you to take, Kagome. We know we cannot make the journey with you, and so we want you to take these things. They will be helpful, as well as, a reminder that a part of us are on the journey with you. Even if we are not there physically." Kikyo said, pulling out a long bow, and a quiver of arrows.

Kagome felt the rush of tears filling her eyes and she tried to blink them away. She could never ask for a better group of friends.

Her hands reached to take the bow that Kikyo held out ot her. It was made of Osage Orange, which she had no idea how Kikyo had gotten ahold of it. The bow was sturdy, yet flexable. She smiled up at Kikyo, taking the quiver of arrows which were made of yew.

"Thank you, Kikyo."

Kikyo smiled at her.

"I hope your arrow always finds it's mark."

Miroku was next. He handed her a handful of Ofudas. Then he handed her the beaded rosary that had once wrapped around his cursed hand.

Kagome accepted them, putting the Ofudas in the front pocket of her backpack. She held the rosary in her hand, giving Miroku a curious look.

"You know the ofudas will seal things and help create barriers. The rosary...," He glanced down and smiled, "I give them to you for luck. Pray with them, Kagome, and maybe luck will be on your side."

Kagome grinned and drapped them over her head to hang around her neck. She thanked him. Inuyasha grunted and pulled off his fire-rat Haori. Kagome went to protest but he shushed her and handed over the shirt.

"I know it ain't much but it's the best I can do. I hope it protects you, should you need it." He looked uncomfortable and Feh'd when she thanked him.

Sango sighed, and pulled out the Katana she used during their travels. She handed it over to Kagome and smiled.

"I know you're much better with the bow but it's good to have in case your enemies get to close to shoot. Kaede and Kikyo never got the chance to teach you how do combat with the bow in close range, but I know Miroku and I, and even Inuyasha have taught you alittle about sword combat. I hope you wont ever have to use it but...it would make me feel better if you take it with you." Sango handed it over, patting Kagome's hand when she took it.

"Thank you, Sango. I'm very grateful." Kagome said, tying the Katana to her side.

She gave each of her friends a deep hug, telling them that she would miss them greatly and if she's ever near the village, she would visit. They wished her good luck.

Shippo grabbed his already packed sack and flung it over his shoulder. He stood beside Kagome, waving to their friends before the two turned down the rocky, dirt path that lead toward the west part of the island.

**............................**

"Shippo, I have to tell you, I don't exactly know where we are going." Kagome told him sometime later that day during lunch. Shippo smiled while his mouth was full. He swallowed his food.

"No worries, Kagome. When we were searching for the jewel shards, there were thousands of times when we travelled with no ideas on where we were going. We'll just continue west and eventually, I'm sure we'll run into Sesshomaru."

Kagome raised an eyebrow at him when he continued eating.

_'When did Shippo become so...insightful? Grown-up?' _She wondered to herself, '_And Sesshomaru...I hadn't even thought what would happen once we actually met up with him.'_

She sighed. She couldn't think about it now. She would just face it once she found him.

**................................................**

At night, they settled under some trees in the dense forest. The fire had long since calmed to burning embers of wood. The forest was breathing of night life. Owls hooted in the distance, the stream near by made splashing sounds every once in awhile. Shippo's steady breathing beside her sleeping bag comforted her.

The peace the forest provided help luring her into sleep. It was far different than Tokyo, and she had missed nights like this. She was so happy to be back. Four years was far too long.

She fell asleep thinking about what she would say once they met up with the Lord of the West.

**A/N: I know it's not very long, I'm sure there are lots of grammer mistakes, and it's not the best I've written but....I hope you guys liked it anyway. I don't know when I'll get the chance to update again but I'll try my best to update as soon as I can. Review please! They make me happy.**


	5. Chapter Four

**Surrendering Sorrow**

**A/N: Please, please, please forgive the long wait. Life caught up with me and I got incredibly distracted. I can't promise that updates will be regular, but I can say I haven't forgotten about this story. I intend to finish it...someday. I also realized that I never explained what came of the Shikon jewel. It will be explained now...Anyways, here! Enjoy. **

"I" Talking

'_I_' Thoughts

_I _Flashbacks

Lots of ... means a scene change

**Disclaimer: Yes, I totally own Inuyasha...Heh...sure...Ok, fine, I don't own Inuyasha...**

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing." -**Theodore Roosevelt**

**...**

Kikyo wasn't alive. She knew that. Had accepted that long ago. She'd never bear Inuyasha children, would never grow old. She was sustained only by a body made of clay and old bones, and the part of Kagome's soul. To Inuyasha though, it was enough, and because it was enough to him, it was enough for her.

When the Shikon Jewel had been completed and purified, Kagome had handed it over to Kikyo without a word. Kikyo knew at the moment, when Kagome had placed the jewel in her hand, that Kagome had decided it was up to Kikyo to decide her fate. Kagome never asked for the rest of her soul back, and though she had not said anything when she handed the jewel over, it was understood that she was willing to die in order for Kikyo to wish to be alive completely. In order for Kikyo's soul to be whole Kagome would have to die.

The words of gratitude Kikyo wished to express to her reincarnation would never do. So, in that instant, Kikyo did the only thing she could think of to show Kagome what that meant to her. She wished the jewel to disappear forever.

Kagome's shock was palpable as the Jewel simply shone brightly and then winked of existance, and Kagome didn't immediatly drop dead. Kikyo had met Kagome's gaze, and there was perfect clearity between them. They would continue to live the way things were.

Kikyo had been tempted to give Kagome the rest of her soul, and had said as much to Kagome in private, but Kagome simply had refused to listen.

"You're going to keep living, and so am I, and that's the end of it." She had told her. Kikyo had hugged her and wispered feverently thank you's, and Kagome had accepted them. Neither Kagome, nor Kikyo brought the subject up again, and life continued on. Kagome visited, treating Kikyo as a sister, and Kikyo returned the treatment. She was just as devasted when the well forced Kagome back to her own time, had rejoiced as much as the others when Kagome had returned, and worried just as much about Kagome's safety when she had left to find Sesshomaru.

Kagome was the reason Kikyo was now able to finally live a normal life of a woman with Inuyasha by her side.

Of course, before Kikyo's death fifty-four years ago, she had been raised and taught only the duties of a miko. She had never known any lifestyle out of that. Inuyasha had never known stability, and normalcy either, and so their first year together had been awkward. However, over time, they had found a balance. Inuyasha was a husband, and therefore provided for them. He and Miroku became the village's protectors so to speak, with Sango and Kikyo joining along from time to time. Kikyo took over miko duties after the passing of her sister.

But she was more than just a miko now. She was a wife. So it was a week after Kagome and Shippo left for their journey, that Kikyo found herself quietly humming while she folded laundry inside the hut she shared with her husband, Inuyasha. She never glanced up from her duty, focused on her task, despite the noise her husband was making.

_Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle. Twitch. Sniff-sniff. Twitch. Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle._

Kikyo humming continued, her eyes showing more amusement than her current task of folding clothes should have produced, but refused to look up or cease her mundane chore.

_Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle. Twitch. Sniff-sniff. Twitch. Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle._

Kikyo had decided, shortly after Inuyasha arrived home an hour ago in a weird mood, not to ask him what was troubling him. She already knew. She also knew that when Inuyasha inevitably made up his mind, he would tell her what was troubling him, and what he was choice in solution to said trouble was. All she had to do was wait, and in the meantime...well, the clothes would not fold themselves.

_Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle, Twitch. Sigh._

She glanced up after finishing the pile of clothes, and watched Inuyasha pace back and forth, his ears twitching toward the west, before finally, his shoulders sagged in defeat. He let out a sigh, and turned to her. Kikyo waited patiently while her husband struggled to form his feelings into words.

Inuyasha moved closer, swallowing hard, and glanced out the window.

"Erm...Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked, his voice trembling slightly with several different emotions. Regret, worry, and determination. Kikyo mentally smiled at the sound.

"Yes, Inuyasha?" She met his gaze when he turned to her, and saw behind his mask of calm. His amber eyes spoke of an internal debate with himself.

"I...I'm worried about Kagome. And Shippo..." Kikyo waited quietly for him to continue, and he scowled before adding, "...and Sesshomaru." He feh'd and turned to look back out the window in embarrassment.

"I know, husband. Which is why you'll be leaving in the morning to keep an eye on them." She replied, casually, as if commenting on the weather. She stood, grabbing a pile of clothes and moving them to a built in shelf.

"What?!" Inuyasha asked, his head whipping to stare at Kikyo like she'd grown a second head.

"Hidden, of course." She continued, completely ignoring his outburst, "Kagome would be offended if you didn't trust her enough to take care of herself. And until the time is right, your brother shouldn't find out about you following either. He wouldn't accept your help right away. You'll have to wait until he's more willing. Give Kagome time to soften him a bit, so to speak."

"...Who are you, and what on earth have you done with my wife?" Inuyasha asked, completely stunned, and confused. He sniffed the air toward her but naturally, her scent remained the same as always. Like the smell of a graveyard. She winced at the thought, before pushing it aside. She turned to Inuyasha and graced him with an amused smile.

"Inuyasha, you would not simply let Kagome and Shippo go off on their own. You would not stand idly by and do nothing while a great injustice occured to your family and family's honor, sibling rivalry aside." She stepped closer to him, placing a hand on his chest, and meeting his amber eyes with solemn understanding, "Because if you did, you would not be the man I fell in love with." She leaned up and pecked his lips softly before stepping back.

Inuyasha could almost feel tears pricking behind his eyes.

"But what about you? I can't just leave you." He whispered.

Kikyo smiled, taking his hand and sitting him down in front of the fire. She sat in his lap, and Inuyasha snaked his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest.

"I will be fine. I have plenty to do to keep me busy. Don't mistake me, Inuyasha, I will miss you while you are away. However, I too worry about my reincarnation. I wish her to be kept safe. I would feel better knowing you are watching out for her. Shippo as well," She turned sideways and looked up to him, "And I know deep down, you wish an oppurtunity to mend things with your brother. So, tomorrow morning, I will prepare a spell to hide your scent and aura. When the spell deems it time, it will release, making you known to Sesshomaru. From there, it's up to you. If he accepts your help, you will fight beside your brother and defend your family honor against this Northern demon lord, and then you will return to me." She placed her hand softly against his cheek, and smiled when he placed his atop of hers.

"How the hell did I get lucky enough to find you? Kikyo...I don't deserve you." He whispered, leaning down and kissing her deeply. She returned the affection, and after a moment pulled away, breathless.

"Yes you do. So...no more incessant pacing, Inuyasha. Let us sleep." She said. Inuyasha laughed, kissing her again, and agreed. They curled up together by the fire, and enjoyed the rest of their night together in perfect balance, showing rather than saying what the other meant to them.

**...**

Two weeks after setting off on their quest, and they were no closer to finding Sesshomaru than they were in the beginning. Shippo walked ahead of Kagome, scenting the wind, and hoping to find a trace of the western lord's scent. Kagome trailed behind him, her thoughts far away, having relented leadership to Shippo and his demon sense of smell.

"Anything?" She asked, watching as Shippo sniffed at the ground. Her shoulders slumped when Shippo shook his head. Shippo was beginning to think that perhaps Sesshomaru simply didn't want to be found.

Thinking on that, a thought occured to him.

"That's it!" Shippo exclaimed, his chest puffing at the pride of his brillant idea.

"What's it? Have you found his trail?" Kagome asked, jogging to catch up to him. Shippo shook his head, but his smile never faltered. Kagome's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Shippo? If you haven't found his scent then what are you talking about?" She asked.

"Kagome, you remember all those times we ran into Sesshomaru? How many times did he manage to run into us without Inuyasha knowing until just moments before?" Shippo asked.

"Plenty. I'm still not sure what you're getting at Shippo..."

"Sesshomaru is a powerful Taiyoukai. Incredibly powerful. Inuyasha should have sensed him, smell him, right? But he didn't until right beforehand, right?" He was hopping up and down, arms swinging wildly as he explained, "And if Inuyasha didn't then that meant that Sesshomaru didn't _want _him to. Didn't want any of us to notice until he chose to. He's strong, Kagome. If anyone had the power to mask one's scent, then it'd be Lord Sesshomaru."

"Mask his scent? Demons can do that?" Kagome asked, sitting down and pulling her backpack off. Shippo hopped onto a fallen log, nodding.

"If the demon is powerful enough, and Sesshomaru is definitly powerful enough. I hear priestesses can too. It's like a barrier wraps around you, holding your scent in. I'm not sure how to do it, but I've seen my dad do it once." He trailed off sadly at the memory. Kagome reached out and took his hand.

"You're father must have had impressive power then." She said, squeezing his hand gently. Shippo looked up and smiled.

"Yeah, he did." He replied.

Kagome thought over this new revelation, and then slumped in defeat. She let out a sigh, while tugging out some ramen, her tea kettle, and two bottles of water.

"If that's true, and Sesshomaru is masking his scent, how are we suppose to find him?" She wondered. It was then that she noticed Shippo was grinning.

"_I _can't find him. If he's hiding his scent, then I'd never be able to sniff him out. _You,_ on the other hand, have ways of sensing things without relying on sense of smell." He answered triumphantly, as if this solved the problem. Kagome raised a brow.

"_Me_? How on earth could I possibly find Sesshomaru?"

"Your powers, Kagome. Your priestess abilties should be able to pick up on Sesshomaru's aura. I bet if you tried it out, you'd find him easily. He's super strong! I bet he'd stick out like a sore thumb!" Shippo crowed in excitement.

"How do I do that? I've never tried to find people with my powers before. I wouldn't know where to start." She answered, though the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. She'd picked up on foreboding presences plenty of times before. She'd felt Sesshomaru's presence enough to be able to pick him out.

All that was left was figuring out how to utilize this ability in a more focused manner. She hummed in thought, as Shippo raced off to find firewood. After a moment, she decided it was worth a shot. She'd start as soon as they finished lunch.

Kagome smiled, busying herself with setting up a proper fire pit, and prepraring lunch. She hoped Shippo was right, and they'd be setting off in a more steady direction soon.

**...**

**A/N: I think I now have more focused idea on how I want this story to go. I apologize for how long it's been, and I hope some of you are still interested. Anyways, let me know in your reviews? Thanks for reading!**


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